Many people tend to take the things they see on videos, or in books, way too literally. These things are possible reactions, or the way things can go, not the absolute truth of it. Each child reacts differently to chemo, and to procedures. Some lose hair, others do not. Some react violently to procedures, some do not. Do not expect everything you hear to come true. You cause yourself alot of grief that may not be necessary. Do be aware that reactions do happen, and that it may be difficult for you and your child, but also be aware that it may not occur the way the videos or books say.
Please learn patience :) The first thing you learn quickly is patience as you wait for tests, doctors, tests, nurses, tests, rounds, tests, and other such things. If you are able to bring along some magazines, knitting, accounting books, or any other hobby you truly enjoy, you will be better off. You will find yourself with alot of time on your hands if you spend any amount of time at the hospital. You can also feel like you are wasting your time if you do not find something productive to do. You will always be helping your child and the nurses where you can, and that helps, but the quiet times when your child is sleeping, or eating or playing quietly will be trying if you start thinking about the time you sit there.
Speaking of eating, if at all possible, I would recommend getting away for your own meals when your child is eating (if this is possible). You will find the time away outside or in a quiet corner, or with a friend or another mom. will be invaluable for your own serenity. Even 5-10 minute breaks in between times of procedures and tests, etc. will be beneficial. Take advantage of the volunteers who come into the hospital to play with your child. Go for a stroll outside, or have a coffee, or talk to someone on the phone. You will find the small break so helpful in coming back to your child with a refreshed attitude. Don't feel guilty about leaving your child. Sometimes they need a break from mom too :)
As people come up and ask if they can do anything for you, take advantage of this too. Do not let pride become something here. It helps people to know they can be helpful and a blessing to you. Make a list in one of your quiet times. Name the things you wish would be done while you are not at home. ie. other children taken out for a treat or someplace, so they can get a little attention. Or mad money, gas coupons, laundry done, frozen meals, visits to your child in the hospital so you can have a break, etc. Don't be shy. People are only too happy to help when they know there is a need that they can attend to.
Learn to ask questions. As wonderful as the doctors and nurses are, they tend to forget that you have no clue as to what is going on. Don't be afraid to ask questions at every procedure, test, and meeting. You can only learn by asking, and it helps the nurses to remember that you are new to this.
And last, but not in any way least, pray. Always be in an attitude of prayer. You will be amazed at
the peace the Lord can give you. I have found that when I prayed over my son before tests and
procedures, he tended to quiet down also. God knows your fears and doubts, He will always be with you.
Even when you feel He isn't, He is always there. When you don't feel like praying (and believe me,
I went through days of that), pray. Even two or three words can be enough to lighten your spirit.
And read your Bible as often as you can, as sometimes you may get a word from the Lord for that day.
I also found that playing good quality Christian music on a tapeplayer softly in the background,
seems to soften the mood in the room. Realize that not all days will be like this, but if your
attitude remains in Christ, it will help so much.
Also remember that others are praying for you
as well. Covet these prayers. God go with you through this time in your life. And remember that as
everything in our lives, the Scripture part that says "and it came to pass...." is so true.
Tami - son Alexander.
Paula - son Darien.
Shawn - son Evan.
Marcia - son Nathan.
Casey - Granddaughter Tori
Knowledge is power, learn as much as you can about your child's disease and
treatment so that you can feel a small sense of control. The greatest problem is the lack of control
you suddenly have over your life and the life of your child. Try to join a support group of other
families who have a child with cancer (we did and it helped a great deal). Maintain your sense of
humour at all costs, laughter will get your through the worst of times. Pray, pray, pray and ask
everyone you know to pray for your child and for your family to have the strength to endure.
I would seriously minister to them and tell them to fight with everything in them and
don't give up hope but then know that God has a purpose and a plan and He is good! It may feel like
it and it may feel that He is in another part of world but He will see you through no matter what the
outcome but know that in Him, there is life....eternal life.
You have to find positives even when there is alot of negatives.
Always be truthful with your child. Prayer works!!!! Try and keep your life as "normal" as possible.
Never give up!!!!
Trust and lean on God. Allow friends and family to help out. Don't go it alone.
Believe God for miracles!
